yet again ... getting lost ... then enjoying self-discovery ...

Sometime last week. Somewhere in the hospital. It was a conversation. I was asleep but it was not a dream. You asked me if I was taking care of mumi in the manner that mumi had cared for you. You wore white, were standing, had that twinkle in your eyes and looked at me for an answer. Yes, I said, after moments of silently looking at you. You agreed. You never argued even when you were around. I said yes but later your question, your tone, got me pondering. Was I doing enough? Was I giving it all that I could? And, like I had expected, you reappeared a few nights later to reconfirm! This time your hand was moving like it used to and you had a smile. What could this be - your love for me? my being answerable to those I love? else? Mumi , being the patient, used to get Marie biscuits with tea in the afternoons. This biscuit seldom fails to remind me of you. You used to get irritated when anyone either gave or asked you to have it - saying it is good for old people. Boodha ho ga tera ba...

Do not much wonder on what the reason is but the last few days I have been - kind of - talking to self of you. More than a few times, have I told mumi that you would have said this or done that in a particular situation.  One day, out of nowhere, I wondered on how special you made me feel. As I revisit the moment I realize there was no before, no after and no reason; just the thought. The other day mumi prepared a dish which you loved and I felt, no – wanted is the correct word, you to pull it towards your plate for a refill. Chatting with mumi on going out for a walk in what she was wearing then; I told her that while she agreed you would have, in her place, got excited and asked how it would appear! Putting back the Sherlock Holmes Omnibus on the rack, the other day, I was reminded of how you were a tad displeased on my having got the book on my birthday; as opposed to a box of sweets.  I still savour both equally! Around a month ago as I walked along the r...

Have been missing her ( grandmother ) crazy ...  This post shares 3 pieces I have put in place thinking of her ....  The first one I wrote during 2007 at Baghmara ~  Dadi - I love you. “Nimesh, fetch me a glass of water” she said and I got up to do the needful for dadi. Suddenly it struck me as something strange – giving water to my own grandmother! It was the first time in 26 years that I had seen her asking for water. She always did her tasks herself; I could recall her telling me one evening “somebody who doesn’t even fill his own glass of water cannot to anything commendable in life”. And I remember it for she did not preach but shared as some one equal. In spite of this I have grown up asking her for favours each day.             She embodies strength for me, somebody who finds a way out during unforeseen circumstances. She is not scared to speak out - be it about her priorities or simply somethi...