Children and us, today

Children in a changing world 

During the past few years our society has undergone humongous changes. Some of these changes have made impacts way beyond what is apparent to the eye and what we accept. They have led to many of our age old practices, and with them the accompanying wisdom, disappear quickly and silently.

Today, we are a society that has, at large, embraced two religions - markets and technology. Advertisements and algorithms are driving our lives and individuals have been replaced by consumers. The majority, if not all, of these consumers act in a uniform manner and many of their actions have us questioning some of the classical theories we have grown up with. The law of Diminishing Marginal Utility (DMU) for example does not seem to be effective in the context of entertainment and food when reels and home-deliveries are available at our fingertips.

How have these changes impacted children?

Today, the children seek freedom and abhor rules - yet they appear out of depth in absence of scaffoldings, frameworks, and structures. They are less in the present and more on the lookout for the next moment that will present them with a high. Not surprising then there is little that surprises them or makes them happy. There is little that retains their interest beyond a short period of time and waiting is a skill in short supply. At the same time they, especially those well-endowed, appear to be losing their sense of awe. Respecting people and spaces is looked down upon.

Children have become good at engaging on a surficial level - just putting trash in the dustbin for example is a good enough contribution to the environment; no concerns on why the trash was generated in the first place, what impact will it have and where will it end up. Most of them are keen to compete but few put in efforts - they focus more on the marks, than on studying. Confidence, as a result of all this, is not often missing.

The dichotomies they live, and struggle, with are stark and aplenty. I may have talked about only one side of the story here but the lives of these children are anything but easy. Social media, peers, parents, teachers all pull them in different directions.

So, what is the way out?

It is not surprising that this is how the children have turned out today. Can they be any different, any better, if all around them they come across adults moving like zombies - running from one meeting to another, jumping from one brand to another, cavorting from one app or reel to another, floating from one party to another, struggling from one EMI to another, and such. Adults who are busy with their phones for hours and yet increasingly find it difficult to engage in a meaningful conversation with another adult sitting next to them.

The children need help for sure. But today we, adults, are in no position to help them. We need to begin by helping ourselves before we can be of any help to the children. We can work towards investing time for ourselves, regaining our individualities, becoming better listeners, connecting with people around us, reading, and getting out of our comfort zones. We need to embrace depth and silences and not run away from them.

Above all we need to look inwards - towards getting the theraav and gheraai back in our lives. The journey will be neither short nor easy, but the sooner we take the first step the better it is for us and as a corollary for our children.