Tushita

I have attended 2 retreats at Tushita. An introductory retreat during June 2022 and an intermediate retreat during May 2023; each spanning 9 days.

During the first I did not end up taking notes other than during the couple of days towards the end. It was more about just being there, observing, absorbing, and walking in the campus.

During the second I enjoyed putting the pencils, the sharpeners, and the diary I had taken along, to work. Perhaps I was more at ease during the intermediate retreat, perhaps I had an urge to just get it all out, or perhaps I was just enjoyed the act of writing, the sound of pencil caressing paper amidst the silences of the Himachal hills.

Some musing from my notes.

Tushita

A meditation centre, around 50 years of age, and if you enjoy walking in the hills - a pleasant walk uphill from the main traffic junction at Mcleodgunj. The Hyatt Hotel and the Goenka Vipassana Centre are its neighbours. We Indians seem to be flocking to Dharamkot only during the recent years but Tushita has had participants from 100 odd countries over these years.

Tushita has a pulse of its own. The retreats I attended were ‘silent’ but we had a session (post lunch) where, in a small group, we discussed what had been taught earlier during the day. During these sessions we looked at the theory through a personal lens. The restrictions are not overwhelming - if one of us had a very strong urge to smoke s/he could go to a corner of the campus without disturbing other participants.

I enjoyed the food each time - especially the breads and the soups. The last day when I had thanked the kitchen staff I got to know that they were from Bodh Gaya. The first question one of us participants had during the feedback sessions was on the exceptionally good quality and taste of the peanut butter.

I shared rooms and also worked for an hour each day - work that helped in campus maintenance (cleaning vessels, or toilets or else). This too like the groups for discussions was decided on day 1.

Tushita encourages writing. Keep writing your stories - it may help you feel less attached to them and also enable you to see different aspects to them - we were told.

Some observations

Increasingly Tushita has more and more Indian participants; and in the intermediate retreat I attended the number of the female participants was way higher than the males. Also, participants below 30 years of age were in an overwhelming majority; some of them carried themselves with admirable maturity. At times I wondered how would it have been for me to have attended Tushita when I was in my twenties.

During discussions I realized that the other participants were more attuned to the conversations, they engaged in depth and were also able to open up on personal experiences. Just listening to them was a learning - one that left me with many questions. It was walking meditation (nicely explained and demonstrated by one of the teachers) that was my cup of coffee. Walking in this campus is special - the space is neither large nor planned (like Buddhapada) but one can feel the energy.

Amidst the silences, the workings of the mind are more conspicuous. At times I was surprised at the incidences and the people I remembered - people I have not met in years, incidences of apparently no consequence,  incidences and people I had forgotten. I also remembered papa with an intensity that was palpable - my unreasonable requests, our last conversation, wondering how he would have taken to my being in the retreat, how would I write of this retreat to him . . .

I ended up - meeting and observing people I would otherwise never have interacted with, listening to teachers I am glad I got to learn from, and of course realizing and re-realizing that sitting in silence in a single position is anything but easy. I also learnt to be more accepting and realized that if you pay less attention many things matter less.

I learnt about Buddhism and also ended up knowing myself better.

Some lines from the sessions

On Silence

• When we are silent it helps us to get deeper, below the surface, to look at what is going on in the mind. 
• Silence itself does not heal, but it creates conditions that help in healing. Healing the mind has more to do with truth than with good.

On impermanance

• We appreciate impermanence in nature, not in ourselves. Tree shredding leaves is beautiful, not our wrinkles. 
• Why do we hold on to permanence in this world when all around us is impermanence. 

On death

• We would be happier if we accepted that we are going to die and lived accordingly. 
• The extremely subtle mind manifests only before death.

On anger

• When anger arises it appears to lessen suffering, however it only ends up increasing suffering. 
• Anger is like drinking poising ourselves and expecting the other person to die.

On us

• If we cannot focus on our mind, let us get to our body.
• Do we have a nice relationship with ourselves?

Some lines from what I read

Tushita also encourages reading, the library cum bookstore is home to multiple booklets by Thich Nhat Hanh. There are other books as well but I soaked in the simplicity that Thich Nhat Hanh offers. Few lines from these booklets that I jotted then.

On meditation

• Walking meditation is really to enjoy the walking, walking not in order to arrive, but just for walking, to be in the present moment, and to enjoy each step.
• Meditation is not passive sitting in silence, it is sitting in awareness, free from distraction, and realizing the clear understanding that arises from concentration.

On the present moment

• All we need to be responsible for is the present moment, only the present is within our reach. 
• Taking care of the present is the best way to take care of the future.

On pausing

• Being able to pause is the greatest gift. It gives us the opportunity to bring more love and compassion into the world rather than more anger and suffering.
• If you learn to stop running you will see that there are more than enough conditions for your to be happy right now. 

On love 

• Everything needs food to live, even love. 
• Understanding is love’s other name, if you don't understand you can't love.